Trump Tower to be built in Dix

April 1, 2020

By John Stuehmeier

Dix, Illinois, just four miles north of the intersection of Interstate 57 and Interstate 64, will be the next location for a Trump Tower Hotel.

Although not verified that President Trump had a hand in this (he can’t do business deals while being President) it’s no secret that President Trump wants to help the “real people” in the Midwest and recently mentioned how beautiful the countryside is to a boy from New York City.

The reason for building in Dix was included in the press release the media received from marketing representative Ima Kiden. “Dix, Illinois is an ideal location for our high-end project because of its central location in the country, its proximity to interstates, unbelievably low real estate values, and hard-working Midwestern attitude of its citizens. We hope to stimulate the economy in Southern Illinois and beyond.”

The project includes the 57 floor Trump Tower Hotel on 57 acres with two massive penthouses for special guests. Also, the project initially includes surrounding the tower with restaurants and shopping complexes. Real estate options to adjoining property have been secured for future growth and development. The project should start in May with a groundbreaking ceremony. Rumor has it that President Trump might attend.

April Fools!